Distance

A pretty, young witch once told me my fate was in my hands.

Well, that seems quite obvious as we are sentient beings with a reasonable degree of control over our own lives. Or so we keep telling ourselves.

Though, what she meant was my fate lines, the creases on my palms, forged at the dawn of my creation that shall layout the future of my life. She held my hand and pointed out what she was alluding to. Fate?

As an engineer and scientist-in-training, I found it hard to believe, though something inside me wanted to.

She said something along the lines of the next year (the one we’re in now) things will happen that will see you achieving your success, and your life will divert from its current course to something unexpected – in more aspect than one. My summary is vague and lacking, hers, was not. It was surprisingly detailed and well-thought.

Her eyes did not betray.

Though I am unsure if her prophecy is pure coincidence, so far it’s being fulfilled. Maybe she was right, something inside me is leaning towards agreeing with her, given the circumstances so far. As impossible as it seems.

As we grow distant in our lives, I feel the change taking hold. It’s so hard to put this concept to words.

Years ago this would have been such an abstract, alien concept. Now it’s making sense, I suppose it is because I live it.

I’m beginning to lose the feeling that I had encapsulated to write this post about, making it even harder to get down.

I have been presented with the opportunity that very few people in this world will ever have, unique. 500 people out of ~8 billion. It’s something that many people, young and old, would and still may dream of.

As my mentor put it, “Glory and fame awaits you.” – not that the promise of such motivates me. Though, I have accepted and nurtured this opportunity. So far I have bled and broken bones for it, it has become the most rewarding part of my life.

It has also taught me a lot about myself. Maybe things that I would rather not know, yet I would.

We’re growing distant, as part of growing up, I guess. It’s sad to see it that way, but that appears the harsh truth of it. I don’t know how to feel about it, for it is a blade sharp on both sides.

My dreams ceased, and too with my feelings. Fading like embers in the sky. I do not wish it extinguished, though I can see it naturally doing so, continuing in a different state, different to what we’re accustomed to.

My desires change and my heart seems to call somewhere else home.

What does it matter, anyway, if we are always in solitude, despite our company?

I am certain you will not understand, though you live it, too.

I will try to regain passion, but I’m faltering.

-T

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